Hi all, this is one of my more depressing posts. If you want more jolly stuff then scroll down or sit back and wait for some more joyful blog posts coming your way!
Losing the closest person to you (in some cases) can be the most heartbreaking and hardest period of your life ever! Especially if that person has been through the pleasurable times as well as the oh-my-god-kill-me-now times with you.
I have recently lost my best friend and it has been horrible. I have lost many best pals in the past but it really doesn't make it easier every time someone who was once that close to you has left you. Honestly, in some cases, I think losing your best friend is equally as severe as a break up.
I know it's hard to trust others, especially if you have been betrayed or let down by this once important person to you, but there are way better people out there who will treat you with the dignity and respect you deserve. This can be applied to general break-ups or friendship break-ups, and I know you're probably thinking 'oh god Charlie,you sound just like my mum -.-!' but trust me, there are strategies to help you sit & wait for these angels and here are a few of mine:
1. Keep yourself busy.
Go out with your other friends and try and keep your mind from thinking about that person and the good times you had. Try new things, go to new places! Avoid at all costs going somewhere that once held a lot of importance between you and that person. If you don't feel you have many friends or that you're not that close to others - take this time as an opportunity to get close to people and start again - build your life back up and be the person you want to be with these awesome new people. They don't need to know anything of your past and that's the beauty of it. Learn from the mistakes you made with the other person and change things this time around. Treat the past as an experience, not a regret!
Go out with your other friends and try and keep your mind from thinking about that person and the good times you had. Try new things, go to new places! Avoid at all costs going somewhere that once held a lot of importance between you and that person. If you don't feel you have many friends or that you're not that close to others - take this time as an opportunity to get close to people and start again - build your life back up and be the person you want to be with these awesome new people. They don't need to know anything of your past and that's the beauty of it. Learn from the mistakes you made with the other person and change things this time around. Treat the past as an experience, not a regret!
2. Block, block, block!
I feel this is very important: the amount of people who still have issues with their exes or ex-best pals due to not blocking them completely, whether they're giving you grief or not...just do it, OK?
Even if they haven't done anything wrong, if you're struggling to fight the urge to see what they're up to on Facebook or Twitter then this is only going to worsen how you feel. The best thing to do is distance yourself from the stimuli and focus on other things. Remember that coursework due this Monday? Get it done! Remember that book you never actually read throughout? Finish it! Again try different things to take your mind off of things, and thus push that person to the back of your mind. It is unlikely you will forget (especially if they were a big part of your life) but it will ease the pain and sooner or later you will realize & accept the person they are and find people to replace who will make you happy, people who will treat you much better than the previous stimuli.
3. Lose ties with those who are part of the situation.
Just cut out anyone involved in the situation in a negative way. You know, interfering exes or people who are just making everything 99% more difficult. Add them to the block list!
4. Delete/remove any pictures or posts which resemble or remind you of the stimuli.
Again, like the blocking method, this can also help prevent your feelings from worsening. You don't necessarily have to delete them as such (hypocrite, I know) but put them somewhere you won't look or move them onto a memory stick and give that memory stick to your friend or family member if it takes that much. It'll ease the pain an awful lot and will stop you dwelling on what was and what is no longer.
Even if they haven't done anything wrong, if you're struggling to fight the urge to see what they're up to on Facebook or Twitter then this is only going to worsen how you feel. The best thing to do is distance yourself from the stimuli and focus on other things. Remember that coursework due this Monday? Get it done! Remember that book you never actually read throughout? Finish it! Again try different things to take your mind off of things, and thus push that person to the back of your mind. It is unlikely you will forget (especially if they were a big part of your life) but it will ease the pain and sooner or later you will realize & accept the person they are and find people to replace who will make you happy, people who will treat you much better than the previous stimuli.
3. Lose ties with those who are part of the situation.
Just cut out anyone involved in the situation in a negative way. You know, interfering exes or people who are just making everything 99% more difficult. Add them to the block list!
4. Delete/remove any pictures or posts which resemble or remind you of the stimuli.
Again, like the blocking method, this can also help prevent your feelings from worsening. You don't necessarily have to delete them as such (hypocrite, I know) but put them somewhere you won't look or move them onto a memory stick and give that memory stick to your friend or family member if it takes that much. It'll ease the pain an awful lot and will stop you dwelling on what was and what is no longer.
I hope these strategies work for you, please let me know any other methods to ease these sorts of feelings either in the comments or feel free to message me!
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